Do dating sites work 2013

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He was passive in their arguments, hoping to avoid confrontation.

Whatever the flaws in their relationship, he told himself, being with her was better than being single in Portland again. Now in his early 30s, Jacob felt he had no idea how to make a relationship work. Would permanence simply happen, or would he have to choose it? All of a sudden I was going out with one or two very pretty, ambitious women a week. They dated for a few months, and then she moved in.

“I’m about 95 percent certain,” he says, “that if I’d met Rachel offline, and if I’d never done online dating, I would’ve married her.

At that point in my life, I would’ve overlooked everything else and done whatever it took to make things work.

He’d been called lazy, aimless, and irresponsible with money.

Before long, his new relationship fell into that familiar pattern.

She seemed independent and low-maintenance, important traits for Jacob.

Past girlfriends had complained about his lifestyle, which emphasized watching sports and going to concerts and bars.

But most of the online-dating-company executives I interviewed while writing my new book, Love in the Time of Algorithms, agreed with what research appears to suggest: the rise of online dating will mean an overall decrease in commitment.

Rachel was young and beautiful, and I’d found her after signing up on a couple dating sites and dating just a few people.” Having met Rachel so easily online, he felt confident that, if he became single again, he could always meet someone else.

After two years, when Rachel informed Jacob that she was moving out, he logged on to the same day. Messages had even come in from people who couldn’t tell he was no longer active.

What if it raises the bar for a good relationship too high?

What if the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track?

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