Avoidant personality disorder forum dating website
In my mind, I would get involved with someone, incidentally who I probably didn’t even like that much, and they would be blowing seriously hot and then ‘something about me’ would make them become unavailable and start blowing lukewarm or cold.
I believed that they were great guys offering great relationships and that if it weren’t for my flaws, they’d still be the same guys I’d or been led to believe that they were offering.
Once you end up playing this game and realising that cutting them off, threatening to end it, mentioning that you’re seeing others etc makes them step up, albeit only for a short time until they realise that you’re back under their control, you’re trying to mess with supply and demand. Keep doing these things in order to get attention from them?
It’s only a matter of time until they recognise the pattern and then they will even become half-hearted in chasing after you. Blowing hot and cold is ambivalent, ambiguous, inconsistent, contradictory, unreliable, unstable and yes, at times, assclownary.
If you got their interest and commitment, you’d lose interest.
When you come back to earth, whether it’s gradually or sharply, it hurts.
Particularly when it’s gradual, it can make you feel very insecure because you wonder what you ‘did’ to ‘change’ them when in fact, they haven’t changed; they’ve If you don’t register the inconsistency and you hang around, the blowing hot and cold will disrupt and confuse you, and actually, you’ll become desensitised to getting crumbs and may actually think you’re getting a loaf when you’re actually on a crumb diet.
If it’s sharp, it can feel like you’ve been sucker-punched and you’ll wonder what you did to cost yourself their adulation.
Am I not beautiful / sexy / good enough / interesting anymore?